The origins of complex trauma
There are all kinds of families. In the more positive types, there is a general sense that things can be handled. There are challenges, but people are open and willing to work and cooperate. In others, every change is a threat to the core. New events feel dangerous. The family has not changed in so long that even considering it is terrifying. There is a persistent feeling of being frozen in time: stuck in a time long past, trying to survive.
Being born into a family of the second kind can create difficulties along our lives, such as a general lack of safety, relationship problems and physical symptoms. Luckily, EFT is a gentle approach to process these difficult chronic emotions that have been experienced for so long during childhood.
By feeling everything – all the secrets of the family, the buried hurts, the fears and pains – one can start to untangle the hidden story of the family, and integrate all the exiled parts. Seeing the dire situation, why is it even our responsibility to do all this by ourselves? Sometimes there is no other option. We feel a calling. Maybe it’s an illness that we’re battling with. Other times, it’s a crack in our psyche, a shock or a dark night of the soul that can only be traversed by diving into the secrets and darker areas of the family.
Going in this journey can be intense, and EFT is a great way to make the process gentler. By slowly uncovering that sense of safety, it is possible to find liberation from the chains of a difficult family system.
The approach for chronic emotions
When working with more chronic emotions, I recommend doing EFT for longer periods of time rather than quick sessions of Matrix Reimprinting (MR). In my experience, when doing MR with a memory that involves chronic trauma, it is possible that other people inside the memory react in unexpected ways, making the process more harmful than helpful for ourselves.
Even if we sense that it’s not the moment to explore a memory, it’s still possible to make great progress with normal EFT. Tapping on the weird feelings, the pains and the helplessness will help greatly. By focusing on these aspects consistently, we will start to uncover a sense of safety in our own self that we may have never experienced before.
Walking through the path on our own
It is also possible that we want to make a part of the journey on our own. Even if the way ahead is uncertain and scary, we can advance greatly by ourselves. We have an inner light offering refuge that we can access in the most complicated of times. By making this decision, we can get to know ourselves greatly.
There are wonderful books that offer guidance on how to move forward. Some books that I recommend are:
Starting this process can be one of the most difficult things we do, but it is also extremely rewarding. If you want to work with me in working with the emotions behinf these more chronic traumas, I’ll be delighted to help.